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And this wasn't a secret from the person I'm dating (whom I met here, and not on OKCupid). This was perhaps the signal issue in my recently-ended relationship (which ended exactly as you so wisely predicted, with me being dumped unceremoniously for the 5th time in 10 months, after two weeks of intense dating.) Our first night together (since the last breakup), I pulled out the old laptop (and no that's not a euphemism) and in front of her deleted all my online dating-site profiles, and then turned the laptop over to her.I was just getting a weekly email from them suggesting new people, and I'd just sort of delete them automatically without any further thought. (We had discussed while I was negotiating this time around how lovely it would be to take our profiles down, and stop this time-consuming, tedious, painful dating process) Instead she suggested we go into the bedroom, and I thought "Who can turn down that invitation? For the next few days, I tried hinting gently that she had yet to fulfill her end of the deal, but gently didn't accomplish anything, and I thought (since she had emailed me that she was committing for the long haul, and that she intended to yank her profiles down) that she'll get around to it in her sweet time, but of course, she pulled the proverbial plug before she got around to it. I'm married now but I don't think I ever took my stuff down, I just stopped logging in to the site.

Prompted by this thread, though I've been pondering starting a thread on this for a while. (I'm specifically excluding relationships that are acknowledged by both parties to be non-exclusive) I waited a really long time, but I think that's just because I'm a space cadet.

An email that Ok Cupid sent out last week was a little more assertive on the subject. Short answer: zero.” The email went on: “you can now connect with even more people because you don’t have to feel shy about showing up as a visitor — and neither do they.” Ok Cupid says this decision allows for “awkward-free profile perusal.” That’s a reasonable stance, sure.

My friend Erin, a 30-something designer in Brooklyn, thinks it’s a better way to go overall.

But the most resounding and vehement response from customers is that this is just a thinly-disguised money grab.

Ok Cupid is being chastised on its blog and Facebook page — in comment after comment — as having done all of this just to get more people moved over to the paid A-List tier.




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