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But as lots of men and women like Stephen and Marietta have discovered, just because a relationship is physically challenging, it doesn’t have to be your cue to run for the exits. The heart works just fine, even if some body parts don’t.

Romantic love depends on intangible qualities that can be affected by a person’s physical condition—but usually aren’t.

“I felt like I was crossing a barrier I didn’t even know was there,” Stephen said.

I’d talked for years in training and with colleagues about how society tended to assume that disability in common was something on which people could build a friendship or even a relationship, but I hadn’t realized until then how…short-sighted that was.

Knowing what I do about online dating now, I feel now like I walked away from the online dating website having more in common with your average able-bodied online dater than the guy who’d had the stroke to whom I’d been talking – there are a lot of people out there who have gotten involved with someone on an online dating website and had them get way too serious way too quickly – like say “I love you” after three emails. And the one guy that I did meet, admittedly not on one of the more major dating sites, but on an advice site associated with it, who’d also had a stroke at an early age – we’ve been long-distance friends for three years and we rarely talk about stroke stuff. Now, I’m not saying that there isn’t a place for an online dating web site just for people with disabilities.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – there’s nothing wrong with people preferring, and choosing to try to find, the company of other people who share their experiences.

“Marietta was looking at me, daring me to talk to her.

I couldn’t take my eyes off this amazingly beautiful woman—and her wheelchair. The other half was saying, ‘What is wrong with you, moron? ’” He listened to the smarter half, walked over, and introduced himself.




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