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It is like the “kiss of death.” While I understand the advice of not jumping the gun, as we women are supposed to be “more emotional,” I am in a relationship now where there is a lot of “hinting” around it going on and it is really tempting to “come out and say it.” What does a guy think about the age old question?

If the woman makes this “big move” first, does it make a guy squirm…or run?

In other words, to the grand majority of guys, he’s happy if the relationship is good. That’s not to say that guys don’t care, it’s just that if the relationship is going well in every way, we’re pretty much satisfied.

The reason we say, “I love you,” to a woman is because we know it matters to her.

Same thing goes if she makes a move on him and she's rejected.

If she's in a serious relationship -- one where the expression of love has been made clearly by both partners -- and she's eager to make a deeper commitment, there's nothing wrong with proposing.

We know that saying it, to some extent, is a demonstration of our commitment to her and that we’re not going anywhere. If you say it first, then it’s like you’re forcing that implied commitment, in a way.

And even if a guy does love you, he will feel to an extent that he’s being pressured.

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My feeling is that you should let him say it first.

I would generally say that it’s better for the guy to say it to you first.

The reason being is that to us, the saying of it isn’t a big deal in it of itself.

And if the woman doesn't get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.

I guess my advice to my future daughter would be this: "If you love a man and want to have a long relationship with him, give him time to get there.




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