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Granted, gold-diggers do exist, but every woman who does not desire to “struggle” with a man does not fit into that category. I’m smart enough to know that your intelligence, connections and work ethic—not the type of work that you do—is what truly leads to wealth and success.

But it seems like a growing number of men, hell people, don’t seem to know the difference.

My friend is one of many men I’ve encountered who thinks a woman won’t date them because they’re not rich.

In their minds, not being wealthy means they’re “broke,” which just isn’t the case.

One is that I’m a contrarian who enjoys going against the grain for the immature thrill of being defiant.

One is that I’m a sex fiend and my man is more boy-toy than boyfriend.

And honestly, sometimes she doesn’t want to revisit the “land of hard times.” It’s usually no different than any other preference someone has regarding a potential mate. The problem isn’t his paycheck, it’s his confidence.

In my office, if an ambitious professional hopes to rise up the ranks, he must set about grooming his image to appeal to his superiors and clients.

He must partake of appropriate hobbies, espouse acceptable political positions, and generally refrain from conduct that might mark him in any way as unconventional. As associates, we are explicitly instructed to cultivate the “right” type of hobbies—those that will allow us to bump elbows with and impress rich potential clients. And it’s also expected that every time we’re in public, we’ll portray an image that’s flattering to the firm.

You know, stable employment, a kind and generous heart, someone who is funny, intelligent, consistent and faithful, etc. She wants a dude who has it all together.” Whenever my friend gets in this mode—which I still have yet to determine if jealousy or a self-esteem issue is the culprit—I cringe.

Then he went into self-deprecating mode: “See, that woman right there [insert random acquaintance he knows] is my type of woman. It’s like a combination of complaining, not being confident enough in what he brings to the table and judging women based on their preferences equate to this annoyance of a concoction. In other words, he counts himself out of the race for her heart before the “Go! Each and every time I ask him to elaborate on why he feels this way, it all goes back to how she looks, how she dresses and the life that she appears to live from the outside looking in.




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