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This type of advice should be given to the rude loudmouth everyone finds annoying.

Or maybe to the greasy salesperson who wants to make more money by pretending to be polite.

Here’s the truth: Shy people need tips for , not less. About 50 years ago, there was an explosion in popularity of books that taught “people skills.” The advice in these books is mostly common sense: Be a good listener, don’t criticize people, remember their name, smile more often, and so on.

And although this advice might be useful to some people, !

Seriously, these are actual things that people wrote and were paid for. If overcoming shyness was as simple as telling someone to “focus more on other people,” then nobody would be shy.

I pulled these 5 pieces of hilariously bad shyness advice from my internal research vault. You’ll find almost every shyness article online endlessly repeating and echoing this tip. The advice is simply not SPECIFIC enough to be helpful to the average shy person.

And it truly believes the world needs yet another dumb motivational saying like “fake it ’til you make it.” Even the name “shyness advice” makes me want to burn all the self help books in the library.

The shy may experience physical symptoms, such as sweating, blushing, upset stomach, and a quickened pulse.

Would you imagine that a well-known news reporter would have trouble talking to her guy-friend that she happens to have a crush on?

Do you think that a celebrity who spends most of her time in the public eye would feel like an outsider around a male colleague she has a thing for? If you’re shy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If you’re like most women, you might come from a background that tells you that men are always to make the first move. Although times have changed, old social norms sometimes still get in the way, causing unnecessary social anxiety.

I build techniques, models and frameworks, endlessly test them, and in some cases rip them up and start again.

By the time you ever see a course from me, it has been quietly inspected and tested by dozens of people.

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